A Saddening Schism
by TantoSmith
Summary: Quick unhappy oneshot from Chikane's POV. Self harm?


**A/N: Hey! sorry I've been so bad about updating, but I just have a whole lot going on, so I hope you will be merciful. :)**

**At any rate, this was just a quick one shot I threw together today and I wanted to give you all a taste of what kind of stuff I've been writing and getting ready to release to you all... This is not a happy story... at all... at any part... If you want a happy story, go see "Our new life, together forever" on my page... this isn't for you if you want fluff and happiness...  
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**Anyway! I don't own it or anything, and it's written from Chikane's POV, btw. So... well... enjoy?.  
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I looked down at her helpless body. Gods help me. I had allowed the Orochi to take me over and had, in fact, accepted and welcomed the evil into my heart and body. As a result, and part of the plan I had somehow pieced together in my crazy tumbling of a mind, I had come home and called her to the shrine of Ame no Murakumo no Tsurugi. The girl was my best friend so it was unsurprising when she showed up nearly immediately after she had gotten home. She looked absolutely stunning in her sun priestess robes.

I fingered the mahogany wood in my sleeve, suddenly hesitant. The Orochi inside overpowered my obedient soul. I forced myself on her. I didn't know what I did after I kissed her. I think that my soul couldn't survive if I had to watch time and again what I did to her that night. I looked at her. She was beautiful, but pain of so many kinds screamed from every surface of her body. I dropped the hard piece of wood and backed away, my soul horrified at the scene before me, which I had caused. She was currently unconscious. Her dull eyes gazed into the cave walls. Her mind was trying to understand what her best friend and fellow priestess had done to her. I backed away from the horror before me.

I hurried back to my manor, desperate for some kind of freedom, nearly breaking into a run several times. I burst into the manor and ran immediately to Otoha. I told her to go take care of Himeko at the shrine and headed directly to the bathroom. I tore off my clothing and dove into the giant pool of water. I swam around the artificial paradise until my body refused to keep me afloat. I collapsed in an obscure corner beneath a green piece of flora. I closed my eyes against the tears of guilt and filth that I knew were going to come to me. Gods help me; I felt the hammer of a smith against my ribs and the weight of a mecha on my heart. Bile filled my mouth as my soul thought back to what I know I did… but her lips, both pair, were so soft and supple. I washed my hair in an attempt to distract myself from thoughts of Himeko. I felt the Orochi inside me, however, convincing my soul just how worth it, it was to take her for myself. The Orochi was persuading me just how amazing it was to take it from her, her virginity. I felt a kind of satisfaction that I wouldn't allow Oogami Souma-kun to take that treasure from her. Her first kiss and her virginity, they were mine. She was my first friend and I was able to get those things from her.

A shiver ran through me.

I imagined Himeko underneath me, grinding in to my hand, her thigh pressing into my core. I slid into the water, letting the shampoo rinse out of my hair. Pulling my head out of the water, my hand found its way to my skin, stroking, petting...I felt my lips become wet; slicker than the water surrounding my body. I began to stroke myself, picturing Himeko as I used to do rather often. I was approaching the edge rather quickly and was almost over when I heard the handle to the door turn.

Himeko and Otoha entered and I slowed as I looked to the door. I saw Himeko undress and saw her pale skin as it was slowly uncovered from the robe. I rubbed harder and as she turned around, I saw her perfect breasts and her Sun priestess symbol resting in the valley between her breasts. I bit my lips as I bucked and rolled into the fingers I imagined as hers. I exhaled the breath I was holding as my body shook and recovered from the orgasm brought on. I continued to watch her, observing her. I pulled my fingers out of the water and went to taste myself. As I drew my fingers to my lips, I caught Himeko's face. My fingers touched my lips, the taste of my cum slipped strongly into my mouth.

Himeko's blank face filled me with self loathing.

She was broken and hurting because of me, and here I was, thinking of doing it again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again.

Tears blurred my vision. I couldn't remain in her presence for a moment longer, so I snuck away into my room. When I reached my room, anger and frustration overtook me. I took my lamp and threw it down. I destroyed my room. Tears filled my eyes and I finally punched my wall, my window, and shattered my mirror. Only when shards of the mirror were in my knuckles and blood dripped down my arms did I cease my rampage. I sat on my bed and watched the dark blood drip down my arm.

The flow slowed, so I pulled out the shards of mirror from my hand and watched as the new blood dripped and flowed out of me. I licked a line of blood and savored the taste of iron on my tongue. I pulled the rest of the shards out and went to the sink in my bathroom, washing the drying blood from my arms. My wounds were still bleeding when I collapsed in my bed, blood still leaking from my body. I stared at my ceiling until my vision tunneled and I blacked out. When I awoke, I found my hands healed and my clothing taken away. Otoha worked miracles, though I had no idea how she did what she did. I rose that day and made lunch, ready for our day at school. I felt better once I had released some of my frustration, but by the time Himeko and I sat for lunch in the rose garden, though it had felt like it had previously, I was once again frustrated in so many ways. I needed to continue with my plan for her.

It wasn't until Himeko showed up at the moon shrine and embraced me that my feelings began to show again. Regret and guilt were tied for first in my heart, but I sealed myself against them and… did what I had to. I got her angry, enraged and I feigned a defense, but she stopped just before her death blow. I looked up to her, the shrine falling apart around us. Denial began to circulate in her mind and I saw something snap behind her eyes; perhaps her sanity. I watched as she dropped her blade and began to back towards the edge, her head and hands shaking and tears spilling from her eyes. Satisfaction showed in her eyes as she reached the edge. She whispered only a short phrase when her foot fell into open space and she fell back. Tears spilled endlessly down my face as I ran to the edge, but I was far too late to save her.

I screamed after her, refusing to believe I couldn't get redemption or forgiveness.

I backpedaled to our blades and fell on my knees between them. I knew what I must do to regain my honor. It was my last chance at forgiveness, so I pulled out my tanto I kept ever hidden in my clothes. I unsheathed it and lay it before me. Feeling not quite right, I set the blades of the Sun and Moon before me as well. I felt like I was finally prepared, so I took the tanto in hand once again. It was a beautiful blade. The blade was sharpened to where it would cut a falling hair at a standstill. The body of the blade looked like a wooden grain, encased and frozen in steel, the edges turning up as though caught in a flame. The handle and sheath were simple bamboo, but held intricate little bamboo designs throughout. It was this blade I had gotten when I turned thirteen years and had just finished learning how to wield it. I drew it to my stomach and plunged it into my core and drew it across my stomach. I pulled it out, then sinking it into the thundering, aching muscle that caused this pain. It was in pain and honor regained that I finally responded back to Himeko's farewell, her words returned with a whisper...

_"See you in the Afterlife."_


End file.
